WE PROVIDE MEALS THAT ARE COMPLETELY UNAFFORDABLE AND UNAPPEALING TO PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY LIVE IN THIS NEIGHBORHOOD.
Anyway, for Hedberg’s Best Joke Ever, I have to go with his escalator joke, which is:
“I like escalators, because an escalator can never break: it can only become stairs. There would never be an “Escalator temporarily out of order” sign, only an “Escalator temporarily stairs. Sorry for the convenience.”
The beauty of this joke is that it sticks with you forever, objectively making your life better. Once you’ve heard the joke, I defy you to see a broken escalator and not think of it. This is an accomplishment: to write and tell a joke that can get in people’s heads and cheer them up during one of life’s annoying little moments.
Lyla was obsessed with the ginger ale. She drank so much of it that she had to take more than one trip to what she called “the most elegant bathroom I’ve ever seen.”